WE'VE MOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!ONE!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Family, Friends, and Casual Readers of Online Trash,

We have moved! We are now: 

ATTHESINEMA.CO.UK

Please change your bookmarks, readers, links, everything, as after a short while, you will NOT be able to view any new posts on our current blogger site. I will leave the blog open for a little while, until most people have got the message, but make no mistake this site is closed. Forever. End of an era, I know.

Hope to see you over there soon,

Eileen and the Crazy Cats of ATS

P.S, It's ATTHESINEMA.CO.UK, in case that wasn't made abundantly clear. I'll shut up now.

Read More......

Spotlight on: Visions of Trees

It's a good time to be London-based duo 'Visions of Trees'. Having toured with the likes of Memory House, Sleigh Bells and Fools Gold, this summer sees them on the line-up for top festivals such as Glastonbury and Bestival. It seems difficult to imagine that this time last year, the pair (Sara Atalar and Joni Juden) had only just met...
How did they manage to get from being strangers to being the Next Big Thing in such as short space of time, you ask? Well, aside from adoration perpetuated by their awesome hand-made tapes, I think their own brand of fuzzy pop speaks for itself. Surreal, sultry and sensational. Give 'Sometimes it Kills' of their EP a try, below:

MP3: Visions of Trees- Sometimes It Kills

Visions of Trres are currently on tour in the UK. Catch them at Bestival on the 9th September. For more info, visit: http://www.myspace.com/visionsoftrees

Read More......

Remix Wednesday: I Am Not A Robot

I have to confess; I'm not a huge fan of Marina and the Diamonds. Now, the Welsh/Greek songstress is a stunner, but her voice and twee indie pop sound leave me cold. Plus, I don't like it when solo acts called themselves 'Something and the the Somethings'- really, it's just you up there, isn't it? A matter of personal taste, I suppose.
Yet, even I absolutely love Clock Opera's remix of 'I Am Not a Robot'. Clock Opera's unique sound incorporates ‘found sounds’ – now, I what you’re thinking. You’re suddenly conjuring up images of people clanging pans together and using dustbins as drums. Well, you couldn’t be more wrong- the found sounds used by the Clock Opera guys weave seamlessly into their rich tapestry of sound, making a completely unique audio experience, without alienating the listener.
Check it out- trust me, you won't be disappointed.

MP3: Marina and the Diamonds (Clock Opera Remix)

Read More......

Review: Stand Up for Week @ Koko

‘Stand Up for the Week’ seems to have outraged critics. Not actually because of the show- in brief, it is a Channel Four comedy show, in which stand-up comedians talk about the goings-on of the week in front of a live studio audience. The reason the critics have united against it is because the press release described the show as ‘edgy’ and ‘outrageous’. For some reason, this has been taken to mean the jokes will be unnecessarily rude and belittling, and brimming with enough coarse language to make a hooker blush. 

Well, as I stood on balcony at the intimate-yet-decadent Koko Club on Wednesday night, I decided to throw these preconceived notions out of the window. So the press release may have made lofty assumptions and pissed people off- does that really matter if the jokes are good?

With that thought in mind, on struts Patrick Kielty, our emcee for the evening. Now, I had to agree with the most of the reviews I’d read- his pre-prepared material came off as quite mechanical. Yet, his rapport with the audience was brilliant- he was easily at his most charming and hilarious when he was off the cuff. Yet, of course, these moments of ad-lib banter were cut from the TV show.


After being nicely warmed up by Kielty, out comes the first guest, Jack Whitehall. Now, if we’re being honest, it is very hard to say anything in that accent without sounding like a smarmy, privately-educated bastard. What I’d seen of Jack Whitehall previously was hit-and-miss; sometimes, it was incredibly accurate and blisteringly funny; other times, it seemed unnecessarily mired in filth. But, I have to say I was very impressed with his performance. His routine flowed ridiculously well- he managed flit from Top Gear to Michaela’s Zoo Babies with impressive ease- not an easy feat, I can tell you.


Whitehall was a tough act to follow, and Kevin Bridges took up this unenviable task. Bridges may have the hardest job of the night- he is the sports correspondent, and as you may know, fuck all happened in sports this week. Unfortunately, this meant Bridges’ opportunities for laughs were limited- he even at one point had to rehash the old vuvuzela jokes. Needless to say I was a little disappointed by the promising young comedian, but he did his best with an exhausted topic.


The second least desirable job of the night was that of Andi Osho, who basically has to talk about stuff she’s found on the internet. I find this subject matter a bit of an insult to this hilarious comedian- her peers get World News, Entertainment and Sports- in comparison her job title seems, well, pretty shit. Surprisingly, Osho took this in her stride, and had one of the best routines of the night. Unfortunately, on the final cut of the TV show, some of her funniest jokes (about her mother and a hysterical Mr T impression) were left out, presumably because they were ‘off subject’. However, her piece on the Darth Vader robber made it to the final cut, and was hysterical- I literally cried with laughter.

Undoubtedly, the highlight of the night was Rich Hall- a surprisingly big name for this show. As he walked on stage, he was greeted with five minutes of cries and cheers before he even told a joke. Anticipation was high, and by God he didn’t disappoint. I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you how simultaneously accurate and side-splitting this guy is. It was a real treat to see him live, and I’d whole-heartedly recommend him to anyone.


After the usual correspondents comes a segment of the show that has attracted alot of media attention- The Chair. Basically, a Z-List celebrity is sat in a chair (shockingly) and is verbally abused for two minutes by Patrick Kielty, in the fashion of celebrity roasts (a trend which Channel 4 is currently toying with). The celebrity this week was Chantelle from Big Brother. It was, in a word, excruciating. It was pretty painful to watch the perma-tanned young lady stare up at Kielty with a nonplussed, doe-eyed look on her face, as he referred to her as a ‘cheap slapper’. What made it all the worse were her constant interjections of ‘I don’t get it!’ Personally, I don’t think the ‘celebrity roast’ will take off here as it has in the US- it just seems cruel to have the butt of all of the jokes sat in the spotlight as their career and reputation are slandered.

After we’d all finished cringing, the guest comedian Steve Hughes takes to the stage. Now, he has the easiest job of the night- a longer slot, and he can talk about anything he wants, giving him alot more creative reign than his colleagues. Yet, the light applause that beckons Hughes’ entrance is punctuated with calls of ‘Who the fuck is this guy?’ Things only get worse when, as the audience chatter dies down, a lone voice shouts ‘YOU’RE FUCKING SHIT!’ Oh dear. Hughes turned, his expression completely composed, and retorts: ‘I’ve been on the circuit ten years- don’t worry, I know how to deal with c***s like you’. Cheers all around. What follows is more of the same- acerbic wit and impeccable timing. His routine about trains and the underground is particularly well-received in the Central London location. Some of his jokes may not have been to my personal taste, but you can’t dispute his talent.


Walking away from the evening, my thought is this: this show is a gem, but only if you see it live. The editors appear to favour ‘outrageous’ jokes over funny ones, and the choppy editing subtracts from the overall flow of the routines. I urge you, come see the show live- the atmosphere of the Koko and sheer hilarity is lost somewhere on the cutting room floor. This show undoubtedly has potential, but if optioned for a second series, the production team should have a long hard think about their editing- it compromises the very heart of this show.

Read More......

July: A Memoir

FILM OF THE MONTH: INCEPTION

I'm sure every review of Inception reads the same- Inception is a slick, intelligent, visually dynamic and multi-faceted piece of cinema. Well, I'm here to pretty much confirm all of the above.

The basic plotline for those of you who don't know is this: Leonardo DiCaprio is troubled. He's banned from America (where his kids live), his wife is dead, said dead wife persistently sabotages his work (trying to steal corporate secrets from peoples' dreams), and as a result, his company is trying to kill him because he's a failure. Now, he's got to work for a guy he doesn't like or trust to pull off the near-impossible feat of inception (planting a thought in someone's head to make them think it's their own). 

Don't worry though, it's not all doom and gloom- I, at least, found the stunning dreamscapes much more engaging than the doom and gloom. The scenes where Ellen Page bends Paris with her mind and the floating hallway fight in particular will leave you breathless.

This film isn't perfect- the supporting cast, although featuring big names, were largely undeveloped as characters- but it's pretty damn close.

ALBUM OF THE MONTH: UNITED NATIONS- NEVERMIND THE BOMBINGS, HERE'S THE SIX FIGURES

Ok, so technically this is an EP, but it would be a crime not to share this with you. Why? Because United Nations has the potential to be a post-hardcore fan's wet dream. I say 'has the potential' because the line-up is shrouded in mystery. The only known member (Geoff Rickly from Thursday) is rumoured to be accompanied by the likes of Daryl Palumbo (Glassjaw/ Head Automatica), Ben Koller (Converge), Jonah Bayer (Lovekill) and Eric Cooper (Made Out of Babies)- a formidable list to make even the most casual of hardcore fans salivate.

And as for the music, well, it's immense. This EP may only last 12 minutes, but it carries the clout of a much longer album. Prepare for twelve minutes of face-melting, ass-kicking, violent, messy noise- and prepare to love every second of it.

CELEBRITY SCANDAL OF THE MONTH: AnCo SHOWDOWN

Finally, a worthwhile artist mired in rumours for me to talk about! Basically, Avey Tare of Animal Collective is set to release a solo album 'Down There'. 'Big fucking deal,' I hear you cry. But his band mate Panda Bear was already set to release a solo album entitled 'Tomboy' at around the same time. This has prompted hipsters everywhere to jump to the conclusion that these two are no longer 'chill', and are declaring war on each other. Yeah, I know, this isn't really a story- two guys are putting out music and hip kids are turning it into a Twitter sensation. Hipsters are so fucking weird.
Also noteworthy: A bird shat on the Kings of Leon bassist and he threw a bitch fit or something. It's been a slow news month, k?

FASHION DESIGNER OF THE MONTH: SCARLET ROOM

From blog to fully-fledged store in two years, the Scarlet Room is a one-stop shop for beautiful accoutrements. Catering specifically for students, the Scarlet Room is both effortlessly chic and magnificently unique. Whether you're after beautiful lace-collared blouses or the perfect pair of ripped jeans, you'll find what you're looking for. And, unlike most of the beautiful collections I fall hopelessly in love with, they offer student clothes at student prices. The dresses above, for instance, mostly fall under the $30 bracket. Snap 'em up quick, girls.

POSTS OF THE MONTH

The Bands of Scott Pilgrim- As the anticipated release date of 'Scott Pilgrim vs. the World' draws ever closer, here's our guide to the bands- both real and fictional- you'll meet in the film, including the likes of Beck, Broken Social Scene and Metric.

10 Songs For a Way Cooler Prom- Yes it's that time of year again; that time where we get all dressed up, pay extortionate amounts to get in and spend the night trying (and failing) to dance in high heels and long dresses. If you want to make your prom more bearable, Charles has the solution- a killer playlist.

Underrated Albums of 2009- If you're not sick of '09 toplists, you should check out this retrospective list of some musical treasures released in 2009 that perhaps didn't receive the acclaim they deserve.

Read More......